Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I used to like roller coasters.

I guess I still do as long as it is the real steel thing and not a word used to describe my weight.

Three pounds down last week? Three pounds back this week. Ugh.

Up and down. Back and forth. Happy sad then happy again. Then sad again.

Well, this time I'm mad. I know I said a few weeks ago I would take the glucose test at the end of March or at 20 lbs. lost - whichever came first. I've changed my mind. I've gotten to the point where I am angry at myself for not doing what I was supposed to do and now I am stubborn. I am going to lose the 20 lbs. and I won't take the test until I do.

After I weighed myself this morning and took a wonderful hot shower (still lovin' the new shower head), I packed my 'workout clothes' in my backpack. I will take a walk today. At some point. Which will be totally inconvenient to my work schedule, but I don't care. I have to work it in during the day. I have no choice. I've had no choice, but now I'm finally ready to brow-beat myself into doing it.

Anger motivated workout. We'll see tomorrow how motivated I was...I'll get in a good stretch before and after, so hopefully I won't be so sore that I can't do it again tomorrow and the next day and the next...when I get pissed and started walking...stay out of my way or I'll run you over...hopefully I won't get too carried away and go too fast or too far this first time out.

NOTE: I just called the doctor's office this morning to see if it was OK for me to wait a bit longer to take the test - I may be pissed, but I'm not an idiot. She's giving me until the end of this month to finish losing the 20 lbs. The 20 lbs. as a goal is there for a good reason. Just losing 10 lbs. will make a difference in the outcome of the test, but losing 20 lbs. should make a very obvious change in the test - unless of course, I am headed faster toward diabetes than we thought. Bottom line, it's better to lose the 20 lbs.

2 comments:

  1. Ack! 11 pounds by the end of the month?!?! That totally blows. I'm rooting for you, honey. Diabetes sucks, so keep up that walking!

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  2. Oh Donna. Keep the faith. If you set your mind to it, you can do it. But that doesn't make it any easier. I'm rootin for ya :)

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