Thursday, November 09, 2006

A Black Thumb of Doom Lives Here

If you are green and have roots, beware! It's not like I don't like you or anything...but I'm a plant killer...I can't help it. Enter our humble abode at your own risk. You have been warned.

I present the evidence...I'm sure you'll come to the same conclusion...

The horde of plants - brand new and still in nursery pots. Excited to be in a new place, waiting anxiously for their new pots. Ahhh, innocence. (We actually got this collection up to about 20 or so plants - it was a jungle in here for a while.)

See the second largest plant with the variagated leaves to the left of the rubber tree in the back there? This is what it looked like last week...

Now the pot is empty and the stump has joined the rest of the dead plants in the graveyard - I toss what's left over the balcony - instant compost - I'm all about the recycling. The ivy under my balcony looks great, so guess it's working.

See this one? Part of Spencer's obsession with Bonsai. This is supposed to have leaves and tiny pink flowers. There used to be three of them. We are hoping it has gone dormant for the winter. It still has a good root system, so there is a bit of hope. The other two were spared from the 'graveyard' and ended up as scenery for Spencer's miniatures.

This used to be a very full False Araelea. Last weekend it was this stick. Now it's feeding the ivy below the balcony. Sigh. Taps anyone?

This is the one remaining Jade Plant trunk. We started out with 16 of them in a pot - had to split them up into different pots when they grew. Then they started dying off one by I living in a horror movie for plants or what?!?!?! Is that Psycho music I hear?!?

The lucky bamboos...alive and thriving...they seem to be resisting my death vibes quite well. Guess they are lucky after all.

See the 4 or so pots of ivy in the picture? Compost. And ivy's are supposed to be hard to kill. Right. Insert Halloween soundtrack here.

The only one left is this one - and it's a bit strange as far as ivy goes. But, it's still alive and doing quite well.

Here's the Rubber Tree Plant - still going strong in spite of it's leaves being covered in dust. This one totally shocks me. This is the first time ever that I have been able to keep a Rubber Tree alive. Ever. Really.

Another Bonsai-esque plant. It's a Ginko or Ginseng tree. Something like that. Still alive, but losing leaves. Maybe these bonsai trees all go dormant during winter? Right? Right?!?!?!?

Here's our Money Tree. It used to have 3 intertwining trunks. Now it has one. You already know what happened to the other 2. Heavy sigh. And, no, having it around has not brought us any more money. You have to keep it alive and healthy in order for it to do that...

Here's our Avocado "Tree". Started from an avocado pit. The leaves have actually perked up a bit, so it doesn't look quite so sad anymore...

One final picture and then I'll stop with the green carnage...3 Ponytail Palms. Started out all cute and such in a small bonsai planter. They got too big, so we split them up into 3 pots. (The shark attack music from Jaws would be appropriate right now.) They do quite well despite the fact that our Kitty likes to use the leaves as floss (the bitch!)...this photo is pre-latest-flossing-incident. They are quite stumpy right now. I prefer to remember them like they are in this photo.

I'd show you all the empty pots stacked up out on the balcony, but it's depressing. I'd show you a picture of my thumb, but it's too damn scary.

I don't get it. When I lived in Texas, my house was full of luscious greenery. I would take in half-dead plants from family, friends, and co-workers and nurse them back to health. I had 35+ healthy, thriving plants. No matter where I live here in CA, I can't keep anything green, well, green.

Good thing I'm not Mother Nature, the Earth would be covered in deserts.

And, oh yeah, there wouldn't be any cacti in those deserts, 'cause I kill those too.

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