Still working hard at being unemployed...

Hello everyone,

Things have been tough in the Chaos here. Lately I've been a bit down so NOTHING is getting done around here. Just the basics to get by. Being sick last week, disappointment after disappointment and life in general has just been dragging me deeper and deeper.

No creativity let loose, no making of anything, no sorting, no organizing. Nothing.

I get up late, I chat with Honey for an hour, I sit on the couch with the Kitty and read or sleep the day away. Horror of all horrors, I've actually been watching daytime TV!!!! Talk shows only, no soaps, and the talk shows are of the more "classy" type. No Jerry Springer or that other dude allowed. Sometimes I put on Discovery Channel all day.

I've learned a lot about building cars (Overhaulin') so I guess it's not really time wasted, right? Yeah, right.

My Mom and Sis sent grandma's vintage beads on Saturday. The USPS attempted delivery on Monday (that was QUICK!!). Silly me decided to go out and enjoy the nice weather, so I missed them. I've been trying to get it re-delivered ever since. I finally cornered the carrier today and he promised he'd bring the box tomorrow.

I can't wait to get my hands on them! I have lots of plans in my head and hopefully I can pull myself up and out of my current funk enough to work with them and get going on some really cool stuff!!! Which I hope I can continue and grow into SOMETHING going on around here besides moping and feeling sorry for myself.

Today I decided I need to put myself on a schedule. Time blocks need to happen for daily/weekly chores, deep cleaning, sorting/organizing, creating/making, bike riding, exercising, relaxing, and so on. I need to pull myself up and get my butt in gear or NOTHING is going to keep getting done. And I want this place looking good by Christmas. I want to start the new year with an organized place. I know if I just made myself do something little every day, I could do it. There really isn't that much to do, I only need to apply myself a whole lot more.

I'm even thinking about going back to school. Don't know what I'd study yet, but the thought is there - again. Especially since I'm having such bad luck on the job front.

On the wrist front, I've been dealing with pain from a "cyst" type thing on my wrist. My insurance company is stalling the doc's office. They're not being very timely with responses for pre-auths, etc. I don't know what is worse, the pain or the frustration. Meanwhile, the pain gets worse and worse. Gee thanks insurance company. So glad you care so much for your members. So very glad this isn't life threatening.

On a happier note, Ms Cow will step in and do some more fashion posts. She's really getting into this...she is making notes for a post as I type. We bought a new book about Fashion History and she's had her nose in it since Monday. I can't wait to see what she comes up with!

Sigh...

Was feeling quite clever before...now? Not so much...

so there will be no clever and entertaining post...

Honestly, I'm tired of hearing about an impending BART strike, and both sides saying basically "it's all *their* fault".

...the State of CA's budget woes and them all pointing fingers saying "it's all *their* fault".

JUST GET OVER YOURSELVES AND DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR THE PEOPLE OF CALIFORNIA

oh and BART and BART unions? I just wanna slap both sides silly. How dare the unions whine about paying more for benefits when I just bet that at least 1/3 of their riders are paying out their asses for the sorry excuses of health benefits they have - not to mention all the riders who have NONE AT ALL cos they CAN'T AFFORD IT cos THEY ARE UNEMPLOYED.

BART management? Stop airing the dirty laundry of your business. Keep it behind closed doors and fucking work it out already!!!!

Oh, and PLEASE NO MORE MICHAEL JACKSON STUFF ALREADY!!! HE'S DEAD, LET HIM REST!!! Do all your fucking investigations and then splatter your shit all over the news. I'm tired of hearing it all RIGHT NOW... BREAKING NEWS!!!

ENOUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahem...

Feel a little bit better now...but not much. When you are not working, you have more time to pay attention to what's going on around you. Quite frankly, it's freakin' depressing.

I'm feeling sorry enough for myself without all this other crap. Can't we all just get along?!?

Now if you'll excuse me, my table for one is ready for my nightly pity party. Time to go whine to myself (i'm the only one who is around to listen) about how annoyed I am at the world, how much I miss my Honey, and how fast California is going to shit.

I really can't wait until Tuesday. First drawing class! I need something "new" and "exciting" to break up my "woe is me" attitude.

Oh, and I've finished MY big, giant, humongous green blankie. When I get around to taking photos, I'll post them here and on Ravelry. Right now, I'm sick and tired of looking at the damn thing.

Time to go have a hot dog and get ready to watch the SF Giants game tonight. I know, you don't usually hear me talking sports...but Antonella and a friend are going to be at the game sitting in primo seats and I'm going to play Spot the Wop - until I get totally bored with watching baseball. This would be a great drinking game if someone else was here with me.

Ciao-ciao!!

Reality

Today while out and about enjoying the lovely weather, Antonella, Spencer and I came across a very long line.

We were very curious to see what the line was for, so we followed it along.

Further and further we went...people of all types waiting in line. We thought maybe it was to get into a new shop...a book signing maybe? Someone famous?

When we got to the front... it was a line to apply for jobs at the CheeseCake Factory that will be opening soon in downtown Walnut Creek.

Goosebumps covered my body and a chill went down my spine. I really can't explain it, but I felt so strange seeing all these people in line. Like the bad economy was "real". Now, don't get me wrong, I know it's REAL. I've been living my life for so long watching every penny, cutting corners where I could. Living as simply as I could, buying second hand, nothing if it's not on sale or discounted...my lifestyle has not changed because of the bad economy. More and more other folks I know are starting to live as I have lived for a long time. It's second hat to me, so it was nothing "new".

You know how you see on TV, long lines to apply for jobs. The economy is bad, so retirees are going back to work, etc etc etc. It was always surreal, in another world. It's so different to see it in real life.

We looked back along the line. People of all ages, dressed all different ways, from suits to casual, young mothers with babies, teens, people of retirement age. There were so many. All lining up to fill out a form and take their chances to work at a restaurant. So many more people than there were jobs to fill.

(Not sure if I've explained myself here, pardon my brain barf.)