...since my last post.
So, what have I been up to?
Basically a whole lotta nuttin'.
My to-do list grows daily, hourly even, as more ideas pop into my already crowded brain.
And I really shouldn't act on any of those until I get a few things in my life cleaned up and straightened out.
Mainly my apartment and the reality that my son is a senior now and pretty well grown and getting ready to leave the nest.
I have to get my apt in order so I can move. I need a change of pace and somewhere not so hot, dry, dusty and pollen laiden. Good luck finding something convenient for me at a price I can afford, right? ack.
I have to come to terms with the whole "empty nesting" reality.
Bottom line, I don't feel (mentally) like I'm old enough to be going through the empty nest bit...although sometimes I look and feel (physically) way more than old enough. Gah.
Where did the years go?!?
So what have I been doing?
Watching netflix and playing Wheel of Fortune on my new netbook.
Yeah, lots getting done here at Casa de Chaos. (she wrote sarcastically)
I feel like I'm living a comedy bit from the 70's. Can't remember who it was but I thought it was totally hilarious way back then...
Teacher: So what did you do on your summer vacation?
Student: I got up, I got dressed, I went to the corner and hung out with my friends, I came home, I ate dinner, I went to bed.
Teacher: What did you do the second day of your summer vacation?
Student: I got up, I got dressed, I went to the corner and hung out with my friends, I came home, I ate dinner, I went to bed.
Etc etc etc...
Now, it's not so funny.
I am so stuck in a deep rut.
I'd say "Calgon take me away", but that would only may my rut muddy, and then it would be even more difficult to get up and out of it.
(I know, pretty lame attempt at humor.)
Time to reset, recharge, re-whatever my reality.
Showing posts with label Pity Party for 1. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pity Party for 1. Show all posts
Monday, August 08, 2011
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Yawn
I'm tired and should really be getting ready for bed. Instead, I'm about to pay bills. Argle.
I'm calling my hair dude tomorrow to schedule time for next Saturday. Grey must go!
I played way too much xbox today and I don't care. Unfortunately, my wrist does. D'oh!
My kitchen is a wreck. I'll deal with it tomorrow.
Spain won the World Cup. Tha tha tha-tha-tha (look up Katherine Tate and The Interpreter - hilarious)
Evil Thorn Season has started. My Beastly Tires are ready. Bring it.
Lance, dude, you shoulda just stayed retired - gone out while you were ahead. Now you're just another biker back in the pack.
I'm trying to think of what to use to count off my age on Thursday. Don't know if I have that much of anything. Sigh.
Maybe I'll just ignore my birthday. Kinda leaning in that direction already anyway.
I just had to check the calendar to make sure my b-day really was on Thursday.
Maybe I'll just count the brain cells I have left. Maybe I'll just go to bed and save the bills for tomorrow.
Sigh.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Still working hard at being unemployed...
Hello everyone,
Things have been tough in the Chaos here. Lately I've been a bit down so NOTHING is getting done around here. Just the basics to get by. Being sick last week, disappointment after disappointment and life in general has just been dragging me deeper and deeper.
No creativity let loose, no making of anything, no sorting, no organizing. Nothing.
I get up late, I chat with Honey for an hour, I sit on the couch with the Kitty and read or sleep the day away. Horror of all horrors, I've actually been watching daytime TV!!!! Talk shows only, no soaps, and the talk shows are of the more "classy" type. No Jerry Springer or that other dude allowed. Sometimes I put on Discovery Channel all day.
I've learned a lot about building cars (Overhaulin') so I guess it's not really time wasted, right? Yeah, right.
My Mom and Sis sent grandma's vintage beads on Saturday. The USPS attempted delivery on Monday (that was QUICK!!). Silly me decided to go out and enjoy the nice weather, so I missed them. I've been trying to get it re-delivered ever since. I finally cornered the carrier today and he promised he'd bring the box tomorrow.
I can't wait to get my hands on them! I have lots of plans in my head and hopefully I can pull myself up and out of my current funk enough to work with them and get going on some really cool stuff!!! Which I hope I can continue and grow into SOMETHING going on around here besides moping and feeling sorry for myself.
Today I decided I need to put myself on a schedule. Time blocks need to happen for daily/weekly chores, deep cleaning, sorting/organizing, creating/making, bike riding, exercising, relaxing, and so on. I need to pull myself up and get my butt in gear or NOTHING is going to keep getting done. And I want this place looking good by Christmas. I want to start the new year with an organized place. I know if I just made myself do something little every day, I could do it. There really isn't that much to do, I only need to apply myself a whole lot more.
I'm even thinking about going back to school. Don't know what I'd study yet, but the thought is there - again. Especially since I'm having such bad luck on the job front.
On the wrist front, I've been dealing with pain from a "cyst" type thing on my wrist. My insurance company is stalling the doc's office. They're not being very timely with responses for pre-auths, etc. I don't know what is worse, the pain or the frustration. Meanwhile, the pain gets worse and worse. Gee thanks insurance company. So glad you care so much for your members. So very glad this isn't life threatening.
On a happier note, Ms Cow will step in and do some more fashion posts. She's really getting into this...she is making notes for a post as I type. We bought a new book about Fashion History and she's had her nose in it since Monday. I can't wait to see what she comes up with!
Things have been tough in the Chaos here. Lately I've been a bit down so NOTHING is getting done around here. Just the basics to get by. Being sick last week, disappointment after disappointment and life in general has just been dragging me deeper and deeper.
No creativity let loose, no making of anything, no sorting, no organizing. Nothing.
I get up late, I chat with Honey for an hour, I sit on the couch with the Kitty and read or sleep the day away. Horror of all horrors, I've actually been watching daytime TV!!!! Talk shows only, no soaps, and the talk shows are of the more "classy" type. No Jerry Springer or that other dude allowed. Sometimes I put on Discovery Channel all day.
I've learned a lot about building cars (Overhaulin') so I guess it's not really time wasted, right? Yeah, right.
My Mom and Sis sent grandma's vintage beads on Saturday. The USPS attempted delivery on Monday (that was QUICK!!). Silly me decided to go out and enjoy the nice weather, so I missed them. I've been trying to get it re-delivered ever since. I finally cornered the carrier today and he promised he'd bring the box tomorrow.
I can't wait to get my hands on them! I have lots of plans in my head and hopefully I can pull myself up and out of my current funk enough to work with them and get going on some really cool stuff!!! Which I hope I can continue and grow into SOMETHING going on around here besides moping and feeling sorry for myself.
Today I decided I need to put myself on a schedule. Time blocks need to happen for daily/weekly chores, deep cleaning, sorting/organizing, creating/making, bike riding, exercising, relaxing, and so on. I need to pull myself up and get my butt in gear or NOTHING is going to keep getting done. And I want this place looking good by Christmas. I want to start the new year with an organized place. I know if I just made myself do something little every day, I could do it. There really isn't that much to do, I only need to apply myself a whole lot more.
I'm even thinking about going back to school. Don't know what I'd study yet, but the thought is there - again. Especially since I'm having such bad luck on the job front.
On the wrist front, I've been dealing with pain from a "cyst" type thing on my wrist. My insurance company is stalling the doc's office. They're not being very timely with responses for pre-auths, etc. I don't know what is worse, the pain or the frustration. Meanwhile, the pain gets worse and worse. Gee thanks insurance company. So glad you care so much for your members. So very glad this isn't life threatening.
On a happier note, Ms Cow will step in and do some more fashion posts. She's really getting into this...she is making notes for a post as I type. We bought a new book about Fashion History and she's had her nose in it since Monday. I can't wait to see what she comes up with!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
And again, nothing gets done...
I seem to be in a bit of a funk this week.
Don't feel like doing anything...and I haven't. It's a wonder I manage to feed the cat and myself these past few days.
I miss my son and his doses of happiness. This whole unemployed thing is very depressing, and Spencer coming here on my scheduled custody days always brings me back up and into reality and gives me something to look forward to. With him gone in Texas all week, its all moping, all the time, ever since he left. sigh.
I've fixed the back tire on my bike, but it still seems a bit off. Whatever, maybe I'll get around to working on it again to try and find/fix the problem, maybe I won't. I most likely won't.
I've decided to re-read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince since I couldn't for the life of me remember what the hell happened in the damn book. At least I'm doing something.
I really should go outside and sit and draw and get some fresh air. Maybe even take out my jewelry supplies and work on re-doing those pieces that need fixing. I probably won't.
I'm going to go back to reading. In my quiet apartment, with the drapes all closed and the only company, the cat, who just doesn't give a flip what the hell I do as long as she gets fresh food and water every morning.
Don't feel like doing anything...and I haven't. It's a wonder I manage to feed the cat and myself these past few days.
I miss my son and his doses of happiness. This whole unemployed thing is very depressing, and Spencer coming here on my scheduled custody days always brings me back up and into reality and gives me something to look forward to. With him gone in Texas all week, its all moping, all the time, ever since he left. sigh.
I've fixed the back tire on my bike, but it still seems a bit off. Whatever, maybe I'll get around to working on it again to try and find/fix the problem, maybe I won't. I most likely won't.
I've decided to re-read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince since I couldn't for the life of me remember what the hell happened in the damn book. At least I'm doing something.
I really should go outside and sit and draw and get some fresh air. Maybe even take out my jewelry supplies and work on re-doing those pieces that need fixing. I probably won't.
I'm going to go back to reading. In my quiet apartment, with the drapes all closed and the only company, the cat, who just doesn't give a flip what the hell I do as long as she gets fresh food and water every morning.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Drawing Class tomorrow!!!
YAY!!!
I'm hoping to have a fun time with the class and not sit there like a bump on a log.
The two, giant, tunisian crocheted blankets have not done their job. I am still blocked.
I have figured out that there are many reasons why:
1. I've been very lazy. Very easy to be very lazy when you don't have to get up and go someplace where people have promised to pay you if you show up and do stuff.
2. My apt is a chaotic mess. Result of the laziness, of course. I have promised myself today is chore day - going to get all the basic stuff done, pack for class and then work a bit more on getting my crafting supplies in order. Ooooh...it's lunch time! Chores will have to wait - can't do chores if I'm hungry!
3. I have no idea where to even begin being creative. I have many lists of ideas. I have many ideas in my head. I look at the lists and it's as if they are in a foreign language. I go to pull ideas out of my head and they are no longer there...they return when I decide to leave them alone.
4. I'm feeling rather lonely lately. Lonely equals woe-is-me, pity parties that totally block out any desire to do anything but park my ass on the couch and watch nonsense on TV. Which then ends up with me in bed with a book or magazine cos there is nothing but crap on TV. And then I can't even concentrate on what I'm reading.
I do get out with my friend Antonella, I chat daily with my Honey, Spence and I spend lots of quality time together when we get the chance, I still call the family and chit chat, and I have actually been dragging my ass out on the bike and have been swimming once. My blood pressure is down and so is my weight - 4 more lbs actually.
I should be happy. I think about it all and go "meh - whatever".
Trying not to put too many high hopes on these classes I'm taking and I think I'm doing pretty good with that. Stepping out of my creative box with the drawing is something different which I think I will really enjoy. The jewelry class can only help me as I have had lots of ideas for new pieces but I have no idea how to bring them into reality.
The classes are what they are and my chaos is what it is...hopefully being in contact with more people will get me back to whatever it is I was before I lost my job - ironically, I don't even know what that is, really.
Meh - whatever!
I'm hoping to have a fun time with the class and not sit there like a bump on a log.
The two, giant, tunisian crocheted blankets have not done their job. I am still blocked.
I have figured out that there are many reasons why:
1. I've been very lazy. Very easy to be very lazy when you don't have to get up and go someplace where people have promised to pay you if you show up and do stuff.
2. My apt is a chaotic mess. Result of the laziness, of course. I have promised myself today is chore day - going to get all the basic stuff done, pack for class and then work a bit more on getting my crafting supplies in order. Ooooh...it's lunch time! Chores will have to wait - can't do chores if I'm hungry!
3. I have no idea where to even begin being creative. I have many lists of ideas. I have many ideas in my head. I look at the lists and it's as if they are in a foreign language. I go to pull ideas out of my head and they are no longer there...they return when I decide to leave them alone.
4. I'm feeling rather lonely lately. Lonely equals woe-is-me, pity parties that totally block out any desire to do anything but park my ass on the couch and watch nonsense on TV. Which then ends up with me in bed with a book or magazine cos there is nothing but crap on TV. And then I can't even concentrate on what I'm reading.
I do get out with my friend Antonella, I chat daily with my Honey, Spence and I spend lots of quality time together when we get the chance, I still call the family and chit chat, and I have actually been dragging my ass out on the bike and have been swimming once. My blood pressure is down and so is my weight - 4 more lbs actually.
I should be happy. I think about it all and go "meh - whatever".
Trying not to put too many high hopes on these classes I'm taking and I think I'm doing pretty good with that. Stepping out of my creative box with the drawing is something different which I think I will really enjoy. The jewelry class can only help me as I have had lots of ideas for new pieces but I have no idea how to bring them into reality.
The classes are what they are and my chaos is what it is...hopefully being in contact with more people will get me back to whatever it is I was before I lost my job - ironically, I don't even know what that is, really.
Meh - whatever!
Friday, July 03, 2009
Sigh...
Was feeling quite clever before...now? Not so much...
so there will be no clever and entertaining post...
Honestly, I'm tired of hearing about an impending BART strike, and both sides saying basically "it's all *their* fault".
...the State of CA's budget woes and them all pointing fingers saying "it's all *their* fault".
JUST GET OVER YOURSELVES AND DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR THE PEOPLE OF CALIFORNIA
oh and BART and BART unions? I just wanna slap both sides silly. How dare the unions whine about paying more for benefits when I just bet that at least 1/3 of their riders are paying out their asses for the sorry excuses of health benefits they have - not to mention all the riders who have NONE AT ALL cos they CAN'T AFFORD IT cos THEY ARE UNEMPLOYED.
BART management? Stop airing the dirty laundry of your business. Keep it behind closed doors and fucking work it out already!!!!
Oh, and PLEASE NO MORE MICHAEL JACKSON STUFF ALREADY!!! HE'S DEAD, LET HIM REST!!! Do all your fucking investigations and then splatter your shit all over the news. I'm tired of hearing it all RIGHT NOW... BREAKING NEWS!!!
ENOUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahem...
Feel a little bit better now...but not much. When you are not working, you have more time to pay attention to what's going on around you. Quite frankly, it's freakin' depressing.
I'm feeling sorry enough for myself without all this other crap. Can't we all just get along?!?
Now if you'll excuse me, my table for one is ready for my nightly pity party. Time to go whine to myself (i'm the only one who is around to listen) about how annoyed I am at the world, how much I miss my Honey, and how fast California is going to shit.
I really can't wait until Tuesday. First drawing class! I need something "new" and "exciting" to break up my "woe is me" attitude.
Oh, and I've finished MY big, giant, humongous green blankie. When I get around to taking photos, I'll post them here and on Ravelry. Right now, I'm sick and tired of looking at the damn thing.
Time to go have a hot dog and get ready to watch the SF Giants game tonight. I know, you don't usually hear me talking sports...but Antonella and a friend are going to be at the game sitting in primo seats and I'm going to play Spot the Wop - until I get totally bored with watching baseball. This would be a great drinking game if someone else was here with me.
Ciao-ciao!!
so there will be no clever and entertaining post...
Honestly, I'm tired of hearing about an impending BART strike, and both sides saying basically "it's all *their* fault".
...the State of CA's budget woes and them all pointing fingers saying "it's all *their* fault".
JUST GET OVER YOURSELVES AND DO WHAT'S RIGHT FOR THE PEOPLE OF CALIFORNIA
oh and BART and BART unions? I just wanna slap both sides silly. How dare the unions whine about paying more for benefits when I just bet that at least 1/3 of their riders are paying out their asses for the sorry excuses of health benefits they have - not to mention all the riders who have NONE AT ALL cos they CAN'T AFFORD IT cos THEY ARE UNEMPLOYED.
BART management? Stop airing the dirty laundry of your business. Keep it behind closed doors and fucking work it out already!!!!
Oh, and PLEASE NO MORE MICHAEL JACKSON STUFF ALREADY!!! HE'S DEAD, LET HIM REST!!! Do all your fucking investigations and then splatter your shit all over the news. I'm tired of hearing it all RIGHT NOW... BREAKING NEWS!!!
ENOUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahem...
Feel a little bit better now...but not much. When you are not working, you have more time to pay attention to what's going on around you. Quite frankly, it's freakin' depressing.
I'm feeling sorry enough for myself without all this other crap. Can't we all just get along?!?
Now if you'll excuse me, my table for one is ready for my nightly pity party. Time to go whine to myself (i'm the only one who is around to listen) about how annoyed I am at the world, how much I miss my Honey, and how fast California is going to shit.
I really can't wait until Tuesday. First drawing class! I need something "new" and "exciting" to break up my "woe is me" attitude.
Oh, and I've finished MY big, giant, humongous green blankie. When I get around to taking photos, I'll post them here and on Ravelry. Right now, I'm sick and tired of looking at the damn thing.
Time to go have a hot dog and get ready to watch the SF Giants game tonight. I know, you don't usually hear me talking sports...but Antonella and a friend are going to be at the game sitting in primo seats and I'm going to play Spot the Wop - until I get totally bored with watching baseball. This would be a great drinking game if someone else was here with me.
Ciao-ciao!!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Sorry so boring around here lately...
I can't help it. Not only have I been extremely busy, but I've been sick off and on for a very long time (damn allergies) and for the past week I've been dealing with a pulled back muscle.
There are many days where I don't even want to get up. What's the point? The coughing, the sneezing, the pain. But yet I do, and I trudge thru the days and try to sleep thru the nights.
Whine whine whine...
The lastest...
My last day at the paying job is tomorrow (or should I say today, it is after midnight). I just checked my bank balance. The last deposits have been made. It's pretty much officially over except for shipping out the laptop. Sigh.
Work on the costumes continue. The dress is almost done. I have to do just a few more things to finish attaching the bodice to the skirt and then it's the hem and we're off to school sometime tomorrow. And that's it for costumes. Good thing too, the first performance is next Wednesday.
The Casa de Chaos is a total wreck. Even worse than before. The poor cat is covered in bits of fabric and thread. That's what she gets for sleeping under my sewing table in a pile of fabric bits and pieces. She's royal, she likes velvet, what can I say?
I've got lots of cleaning up to do. Looking forward to getting a few boxes worth of stuff out of the house and back to former paying job. Then it's time to dive into what's left. Not like I'm not going to have some time on my hands. Sigh.
Taking some time off. Maybe I'll see a movie. Maybe I'll just stay home with my butt and relax for once. The back needs rest. The brain needs rest. My sanity needs rest. Yes, doing nothing for a week or two sounds wonderful.
Next Friday begins KublaCon Weekend with the Boys. WooHOOOOOO!!!!
I hope to be out on Sgt. Puff again next week, so definitely need to get my back well. I haven't been able to do much and even spent Mother's Day flat on my back in bed and medicated. Lovely.
Also need to kick the job search into high gear, help out a friend at his new business (non-paying job), and start making some stuff for my online shop. I've been ignoring way too many important things around here - including myself.
Sigh.
It's late, I'm tired, my bed is heated up and ready. I know, it's hot out here, but it does feel good on my back and helps my muscles relax after a long day at the computer and sewing table.
Oh, and THANK GOD for massaging shower heads.
Oh, and Ibuprofen too.
There are many days where I don't even want to get up. What's the point? The coughing, the sneezing, the pain. But yet I do, and I trudge thru the days and try to sleep thru the nights.
Whine whine whine...
The lastest...
My last day at the paying job is tomorrow (or should I say today, it is after midnight). I just checked my bank balance. The last deposits have been made. It's pretty much officially over except for shipping out the laptop. Sigh.
Work on the costumes continue. The dress is almost done. I have to do just a few more things to finish attaching the bodice to the skirt and then it's the hem and we're off to school sometime tomorrow. And that's it for costumes. Good thing too, the first performance is next Wednesday.
The Casa de Chaos is a total wreck. Even worse than before. The poor cat is covered in bits of fabric and thread. That's what she gets for sleeping under my sewing table in a pile of fabric bits and pieces. She's royal, she likes velvet, what can I say?
I've got lots of cleaning up to do. Looking forward to getting a few boxes worth of stuff out of the house and back to former paying job. Then it's time to dive into what's left. Not like I'm not going to have some time on my hands. Sigh.
Taking some time off. Maybe I'll see a movie. Maybe I'll just stay home with my butt and relax for once. The back needs rest. The brain needs rest. My sanity needs rest. Yes, doing nothing for a week or two sounds wonderful.
Next Friday begins KublaCon Weekend with the Boys. WooHOOOOOO!!!!
I hope to be out on Sgt. Puff again next week, so definitely need to get my back well. I haven't been able to do much and even spent Mother's Day flat on my back in bed and medicated. Lovely.
Also need to kick the job search into high gear, help out a friend at his new business (non-paying job), and start making some stuff for my online shop. I've been ignoring way too many important things around here - including myself.
Sigh.
It's late, I'm tired, my bed is heated up and ready. I know, it's hot out here, but it does feel good on my back and helps my muscles relax after a long day at the computer and sewing table.
Oh, and THANK GOD for massaging shower heads.
Oh, and Ibuprofen too.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Miracles Do Happen...
This is just amazing...
Now, if I could only get rid of this stomach bug that's been hanging on since Monday. Thank God I work at home - 'nuf said.
Some knitting on the Argyle Scarf happening, a new blanket project started. Both of these projects are pretty cool and I enjoy working on them.
No bike riding happening...which is a real damn shame because the weather is just AWESOME!!! Poor Sgt. Puff sits lonely and neglected out on the porch...sigh.
I sit inside at my computer working and wishing I was outside with the wind in my braids...SIGH.
Now, if I could only get rid of this stomach bug that's been hanging on since Monday. Thank God I work at home - 'nuf said.
Some knitting on the Argyle Scarf happening, a new blanket project started. Both of these projects are pretty cool and I enjoy working on them.
No bike riding happening...which is a real damn shame because the weather is just AWESOME!!! Poor Sgt. Puff sits lonely and neglected out on the porch...sigh.
I sit inside at my computer working and wishing I was outside with the wind in my braids...SIGH.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Giving in...
....sigh....
Honey left this morning so I'm feeling a bit down...so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wallow down here at the bottom of the Honey-left-this-morning-blues-pit-of-self-pity for a bit. Have been trying to keep myself from sliding down into it all day, but gah - it's too much work - and it won't hurt to wallow a bit today.
Don't worry. I brought knitting. And cinammon pita chips.
And I won't be down here very long. Spencer comes back over to my place tonight - we've got lots to do - I'll have to claw my way up from the pit whether I like it or not.
In the meantime...check out this home made light box while I'm off wallowing. Spencer and I have been wanting to make one for a while and this one I found over at the Craftzine.com blog seems to be the most clever one yet - and cheapest.
Honey left this morning so I'm feeling a bit down...so if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wallow down here at the bottom of the Honey-left-this-morning-blues-pit-of-self-pity for a bit. Have been trying to keep myself from sliding down into it all day, but gah - it's too much work - and it won't hurt to wallow a bit today.
Don't worry. I brought knitting. And cinammon pita chips.
And I won't be down here very long. Spencer comes back over to my place tonight - we've got lots to do - I'll have to claw my way up from the pit whether I like it or not.
In the meantime...check out this home made light box while I'm off wallowing. Spencer and I have been wanting to make one for a while and this one I found over at the Craftzine.com blog seems to be the most clever one yet - and cheapest.
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